Professional anarchist? Tell me more…

(Did not write this myself)

Trump and Barr keep talking about “professional anarchists.” Given that so many are seeking work these days, I have a few relevant questions.

• How’s the pay? Decent benefits?

• Is there a formal professional anarchist certification board?

How do they ensure that only truly qualified anarchists are hired?

Is there a mechanism for disbarring anarchists for, say, lackadaisical job performance, workplace harassment, or general bad attitude?

• Do they provide lunch, like at Google, or is the meal merely subsidized, like at Apple?

• Is there onsite childcare? How about a gym? (Personally, I hope there’s a meditation room because I’m spiritual that way.)

• Is there a fair-minded mediation process for resolving workplace disputes?

• Is there a reasonable career advancement path, or is there danger of getting stuck forever in some entry-level position? I certainly wouldn’t expect a cushy desk job right off the bat, but I’d hate to still be out on the street breaking windows when I’m 60.

• Are they open to the possibility of telecommuting?

• Where does one submit resumes? (But if there’s no 401k plan, never mind.)

Anteros Oberon
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